Words can shape your future
by Hogwartsgirl221B
Summary: It's been a few weeks since the fall- John hasn't recovered yet. But a certain ginger girl suddenly pops up in his life and makes him realise he needs to change something.../one-shot


The autumn sun shone- probably one last time- incredibly bright and warm on London's St James Park. It was crowded with joggers and people who'd gone out to enjoy the weather in their lunch break. Not one empty bench could be found. Joy and serenity were in the air- just over one bench a shadow seemed to hover.

John Watson sat alone, buried in thought.

It was the same bench where he'd relished a coffee with Mike who'd told him about that guy at Barts, Sherlock, seeking a flatmate.

'So long ago…', John mused, although in reality mere two year had passed. 'Reality', he thought embittered. Reality had taken Sherlock- he'd never be able to see him again. Moriarty- and with this name the old rage boiled over once again- had ensured that.

Since Sherlock's suicide two weeks had dragged on in which John still hadn't found back to a 'normal' life, still hadn't talked to anyone, not even his annoying therapist. The time he'd spend with Sherlock had been the most wonderful years of his life, despite all the danger, despite Sherlock's often unnerving way to deal with things/people- occasionally it had even been more perilous than Afghanistan.

John stared over into the shade across the path, stared into nothingness, and the grief overcame him once more as the memories hit him like a tsunami wave the beach.

…' _You could get a flat share or something.'_

' _C'mon, who'd want me for a flatmate. What?'_

' _Well, you're the second person to say that to me today.'_

' _Who's the first?'…_

"Excuse me?"

John raised his gaze, blinking baffled into the sunlight. A tall, young, ginger-haired woman was standing on his left.

"May I?" She waved her hand towards the empty half of John's bench.

"Sure." John nodded slightly dazed, then turned his head away. He didn't feel much like doing small talk.

Silence.

The girl's pensive glance kept flickering over to John till she finally asked: "What's your name?"

John stared at her in confusion. But although she was a complete stranger he had the feeling he should answer her-she seemed very likeable (maybe it was her Scottish accent). Not that that would change his state.

He cleared his throat. "John."

Pause.

"What's yours?" A question not out of curiosity but simply out of politeness and kindness.

"I'm Amy", she said with a smile and looked into John's sad eyes.

Amy Pond knew from her travels with the Doctor when she was facing people carrying heavy burdens or mourning severe losses. John was one of them. She wondered what'd happened to him.

Hesitating, because she wasn't sure how to address this subject, she uttered: "John, can I…would you…mind me asking what happened to you?"

John raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"I'm sorry, I can't help noticing that you're incredibly cast down over something."

John grimaced. He hadn't talked to anyone about this, in fact he had hardly talked to anyone about anything since Sherlock…,well, had fallen. And now there was this stranger wanting to know…But she appeared to be truly concerned and he couldn't remain silent for all eternity.

"I …my friend…", he began stammering and having trouble keeping his voice steady," I lost him." There it was. He vigorously blinked several times.

"God, I'm so sorry." Amy gave him a look full of compassion, she just hated seeing people as glum as him.

"Yeah, I mean, he was the very best-" And although he had difficulties a first, he soon found himself in the middle of an depiction of the wonderful adventures he'd experienced with Sherlock and his life with this pretty difficult man.

* * *

Amy listened keenly. When John had finished she slightly minimized the space between him to lay a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Wow, sounds pretty much of that sort of person you'd wish to spend your life with", Amy said in a try to lighten the mood. John uttered a choked chuckle and bend his head.

"Losing somebody very dear to you is the worst thing that can happen", she went on. "But can you really be certain he _is_ no more- I mean, maybe that sounds like a bad example now, I had a friend when I was younger, and then he just vanished…"Her voice trailed off. "I thought I'd never see him again but", she cracked a sad smile," I did- in fact he came back more than once."

"No offense, but you didn't think he was dead , did you?"

"No, but that's the point. From what you've told me you didn't see your friend hit the ground. How can you know he didn't survive?"

Thereupon John uttered brief mocking laugh. "You know, he was the craftiest man I've ever met, but that fall not even he could've survived with some trick. And I saw his body. If he had planned something to fake it-" he paused and shook his head. "Then he must've foreseen what would happen when he'd talk to Moriarty. Nobody could be that clever."

"Maybe he could."

John scoffed. "When he was standing on that bloody roof I told him just that…Later I-I saw the corpse, took his nonexistent pulse- oh it was a bit of a blur! First that bike hitting me, then the crowd of rubbyneckers and nurses gathering around him on the pavement and my head was still a bit shaky all along."

"Then you weren't completely yourself- he might have been alive and but you didn't notice. I'm aware that a fall like this is in any case deadly but, as you said, he could've had a plan-"

"Might, could", John interrupted her, "Well, he's not here now is he? He wouldn't have left me just like that. I buried him!," he called out in frustration and covered his face with his hands.

Amy now reluctantly put an arm around his shoulders. The ex-army doctor tensed up and muttered something along the lines of "I'm fine, don't worry" before lifting his slightly red face again.

"Hey, I'll tell you something my lost friend once told me- "Nothing is ever forgotten not completely and if something can be remembered it can come back." I memorized it because it is so true."

"Great, if you've got such a positive attitude", he commented, staring to the ground.

"Do not give up hope, not ever! And move on! On my travels with that friend of mine, I've seen so much loss and hurt and death, but these people always carry on with their lives, and so can you! Hey, even if your friend didn't find a way to cheat death he can live on in your heart, your memories. Just think of what you can always hear in movies- Sherlock surely would've wanted you to continue living your life properly and not sink in depression. Just think of what he'd tell you if he saw you like that."

"Probably roll his eyes and expose at length his theory that emotions are human errors." The corners of John's mouth twitched. "Oh god, I know you're right but d'you know what the most difficult thing is? To see the bright and casual of this world while my heart tells me that it's wrong and it should be gloomy, to enjoy the beautiful things of life again, to… find pleasure in sunlight and in the sounds of nature like the sound of the sea." He took some deep breaths and shook his head resignedly. But… I will try and, no I have to get back my life…get in touch with people once more and…well," he cleared his throat." Jesus, I'm so sorry I bothered you with all this crap and put you off."

"It's fine," Amy assured him with a smile. "Couldn't just ignore that depressed man I'm sharing a bench with, eh?"

John smiled back at her and his muscles ached like he hadn't used them in years. "Cheers. This chat really helped me. It seems I now have to admit my therapist was right 'cause it did me good to let it out and just say what I've held back during the past weeks." And he meant it.

"No problem. Listen-", Amy added with a swift glance over her watch and got up," I wish you the very best of luck. But I've really gotta go now. Just don't you dare and continue your life like _this_!"

"I won't", John assured her," at least",he cleared his throat once more," as good as possible. I've just gotta get back to work, and –dammit!- get over it once and for all. Right, see you round sometime."

Her lips twitched. "Yeah, maybe. Bye John."

* * *

"Oh, there you are! Had a lovely day?" The Doctor had jumped out of his swinger chair on the lower deck of the TARDIS control room. Apparently he'd been with some wires and God-knows- what stuff again since he now tossed his round sciency-glasses (Amy always thought they looked like miscarried swimming goggles) into an open trunk on his way up.

" Right then", he went on without waiting for an answer and clapped his hands. "Where to next- I've just had a nice thought about having tea in an old Chinese space restaurant- found it ages ago and it's amazing! Or let's pop in for a chat with Doyle-we could visit the planet _Dscharaka_ -the best thing is, there are golden-reddish treelike plants all over the surface which are connected so they look like cobwebs-"

"Doctor," Amy ceased the Doctor's flow of speech. "It all sounds fantastic but could we first of all like 2 years or so further into the future."

" 2 years-2014- what a boring year", the Doctor replied, grimacing. "What do you wanna go there for?"

"Well, I've, uh, met somebody today who had just lost a very good friend and I need to see how he gets on with life in a few years time. He was very troubled…So I thought maybe we could, um, you know…"

The Doctor nodded, more gravely now, and pulled some levers on the console. "Right, I see,of course-did he tell you an address or something?"

Amy hesitated and pondered the question for a moment. The she said slowly-" Yeah, he mentioned Baker Street, I think."

"Baker Street it is then." He snapped his fingers at Amy and adjusted some more wheels and settings.

The familiar groaning sound filled the TARDIS, and a few bumpy seconds later the Doctor leapt out of his ship, Amy on his heels.

They had landed in a narrow alley between two tall houses. As they stepped on the pavement Amy suddenly felt foolish. She was standing in the middle of London, without any clue where along this long street John lived, or whether he still lived there at all. It's been 2 years, meaning it was quite likely indeed that he'd moved out already- often people try and leave everything behind when they start a new life, specially their old flats or houses that contain so many memories.

The street was conjested (like a typically normal London street), though the number of people on the pavement was rather manageable. Silently they walked down the street and Amy gave the Doctor a very concise overview of John's story (She had a nasty feeling John wouldn't have wanted Amy to tell anyone all about his feelings which is why she kept the detailes back- after all, it had been quite a personal chat.)

Whilst talking she scanned the street. Who's to say, perhaps, by chance, she'd see him…

And then she did. It was one of those surreal moments where you start to think it can't be a coincidence.

Amy puffed and grabbed the Doctors arm to make him stop. John looked quite the same he had 2 years back, but definitely happier and healthier and less tired, a lot more joyous, and he was walking beside ( and talking to) 2 other people. One- a woman- had short, blond hair and was about his height. The other one was a bloke- tall, the collar of his long, dark coat turned up, merging with black curls.

Amy nodded over to the trio. It took the Doctor a moment but then he noticed them and his face lightened up.

"Is John the small one?" he asked, and added, after a nod from his companion," Seems like he's seeing someone."

Indeed, John was kissing the fair-haired woman goodbye, and she waved the dark-haired man in return, then made her way further down the street, whilst the 2 men turned to enter the flat labelled 221B next to a small café called _Speedy's._

But right before John stepped over the threshold he let, frowning, his glance roam across the street- and it rested on the girl and the young man standing on the opposite pavement, watching him.

John first squinted at them, then smiled faintly as he recognized the ginger girl who was standing beside a man about her height, wearing a strikingly red bow tie. For a moment he wondered whether it really was the girl- Amy- he'd met a couple of years ago since had seen her only so briefly and had even then been quite distracted to really perceive her. But it had to be her.

He raised his hand in a salute, as did the smiling Amy. Sometimes his mind truly surprised him.

John nodded his head towards the house and pointed with his thumb at the door of 221B. " _He's-alive_ ", he mouthed as clear as possible. Amy didn't seem to understand as she slightly shook her head and obviously meant to mouth something back when the man next to her, who had started to beam like a 5-year-old who'd just gotten a particularly big chocolate bar, muttered something into the girl's ear. Now she looked at her friend (supposedly), both delight and doubt reflected on her face. The man now indicated with a wavering gesture across the street.

Amy's glance wandered over to John once more, a beaming smile spreading over her entire face. She raised both thumbs and mouthed " _I-told-you-so_ ". And he understood her.

* * *

After the door had closed, the Doctor and Amy gradually started back to their ship.

"So, Doctor," Amy said and linked arms with him. "What was this planet you spoke of- covered in golden cobwebs?"

"Yeah, not literally cobwebs, more like giant, moth-eaten carpets hovering- although this is a rubbish comparison, forget the carpets …"


End file.
